Sunday, August 19, 2007

Measure of a Man's Wealth

I know it has been a while since I've posted, but my passive attempts at achieving worldwide fame have gone unnoticed and therefore unsuccessful. Nevertheless, there may be many reasons why you're reading this post. Perhaps you're the type of person who peruses blogspot.com, or perhaps while searching Google in the quest for knowledge, you click "more" to search the blogs. Almost sounds like a metaphor for life, doesn't it? How many times do we look for information and when we take it one step further to search for more, all we find is random people's opinions?

Maybe it's not any of the reasons above. It could just be that you've read some of my previous postings and you have enjoyed them enough to read this one as well. After all, if you're reading the sentence in context, I thank you for your continued support. Worldwide fame is that much closer. Taking it back a bit, the primary reason you've found yourself here is not because you're on some existential quest, but probably because you saw a link on MySpace and decided to click it. You are, after all, a friend.

Being a friend of mine, I thought I'd share with you little bit about everyone else in this community called my friends list. All 50 of you. I'm not much of one for statistics, which is why I chose to do it now. 50 is a nice round number and easy to extract percentages from it with little arithmetic. I first got this idea before I actually reached 50 friends on MySpace. Interestingly enough, there's an error in the page code where it miscounts the actual number tricking you into have more friends that you actually do. "Oh cruel fate, why do you mock me?" (Simpson, 1990) Sounds like I need to talk with certain 2% of you who can't count. Tom, I'm looking in your direction. I later discovered that this error is simply a bug in the code that counts the friends that have actually accepted you to be their friends and for whatever reason (if their account is deleted, they sever MySpace ties with you, etc.) their little avatar may go away, but they are still in the count. You have to go in and physically delete them from your list

It wasn't too long ago since (out of complete boredom) I analytically organized a list of another group of fifty to the point of even making a pie chart out of the data. It was the 50 states of the union and their corresponding two-letter postal code. If you wish to know details, it is simply this. I plotted data as to organize the postal code correlation to the full name of each state and tallied which relationship(s) said postal code fell in to. For instance, CA, California's postal code falls into the First 2 Letters category as well as the First & Last Letters category. This unique combination, held by only a few states, was enough to warrant a separate category on its own and therefore precludes it from being categorized in either of the two other categories. 5 is 2+3, and 4+1, but 5 can't be in with the 1's, 2's, 3's or 4's. Isn't that right, Tom?

I no longer have that data, but I'm sure given minimal effort I could figure it all out again. With today's technology, I could even make a new pie graph, maybe 3-D, with a drop shadow. Anyway, I've stalled long enough. Here's the real reason you're all here. I warn you. Anyone who has a phobia or a strong adversity to statistics, please leave now. Otherwise, prepared to completely bored and delve into another dark corridor that is Glenn's brain.

58% of you, my friends, are male. Simple subtraction states that 42% of you are female. 26% you attended the same high school, and coincidentally 26% have shared the same employer. Almost six years since graduating from college at AIPx, only 6% have accepted me to be your "friend". Conversely, twice as many attended ASU. The same amount attended elementary school with me as well. 16% of you and I went to jr. high together. I was in scouts with 14% of you.

I'm related to only 4% of you through blood, yet 6% of my friends are celebrities whom I've never met. MySpace is not only an excellent place for fans to communicate with their favorite celebrities, it's a place for musicians to share their talent with the rest of the world. Another 6% of you have music oriented pages. 16% of you I consider friends I've originally met through other friends but we're all friends, so that doesn't matter. And since MySpace is such a great place to keep in touch with people it allows me to keep in touch with 30% of you who no longer live in Arizona.

Despite the numbers, 100% of you, for whatever reason, agreed to be my friend. When it all comes down to it, it's not always money or worldwide fame that describes a man's treasures. It's his friends, and for that I consider myself to be very rich. Thank you.

Friday, April 6, 2007

Dolphin Safe Motorist

Disclaimer: The following paragraphs represent the opinion of one man, the author. If another man shares the same opinion, then it would be the opinions of two men and so forth. Given the nature of the author and his literary style, there may be word usements structured (Martin, 1991) and perhaps even spellings or words in general that may not be actual words. Deal with it.

There is a topic that I'd like to comment on today that is featured on most major news networks on an almost daily basis. LIke many others, I am quite angered by the particular topic. No, it's not the fultility of the war, I could go on great lengths about that. I'm talking about something that may or may not be affected by such a travesty. For weeks, I've sat idly by, stewing in my own juices of disgust, but when it affects other aspects of my life, then it is time to proclaim my frustration of such injustices to an open audience for whomever may read it.

A while back, my debit card's number had been compromised and thus rendered invalid by my financial institution. Someone neglected to tell me this prior to or included with the replacement card and subsequent randomly generated PIN mailed before the card began declining. If anyone has ever had a card decline, it can be an embarrassing and puzzling occurence when you share an account with someone and they are able to use their card without issue. As a matter of coincidence, the cesation of function on this particular card became apparent after work hours on a Friday at the beginning of a three-day weekend with governmental holiday. I would have to place my consumerist compulisions and find time to go to the bank on a more convenient time for them and me.

As I was standing in line waiting to speak with a teller, my credit union has been nice enough to provide those waiting, as well as passersby in the megamarket where the branch is located a pairing of flat panel, LCD screens to advertise their services as well as provide news highlights. It's nice to see where my money is being put to good use. Now, I'm paraphrasing here, but I saw something that frustrated me like a Geico caveman on a moving sidewalk in an airport. "Because of gas prices of over $3 dollars a gallon last year, Exxon Mobil has posted record profits."

Record PROFITS? I don't know who to be angry at more. Is it Exxon Mobil for inflating their prices so they can earn an annual profit of $39.5 BILLION, or the media outlets that lied to us saying that the price of crude oil is going up so the prices have to be increased. Call me selfish. I drive a pickup truck, my wife an SUV, so we may not be the most green people when it comes to the use of finite resourcess. Call me ethnocentric to think that the country that uses the most of said finite resources should get a break on cost where other nations are paying a lot more than we are. Now, for every dollar that we spend on gas, there are various entities that get paid different amounts. That's fine. I understand that. People gotta live.

I didn't learn much in Economics in high school because I was taught by a cynical embittered Viet Nam vet whose focus was on MacroEconomics, a topic most myopic and self-centered high school seniors could care less about. That, and it was first hour during the spring semester. How much do you retain? Anyway. Basic economics teaches that to generate a profit, one has to earn more than they spend on whatever service or good they provide whether it be manhours or tangible product. It doesn't take much to earn a profit. Hell, a profit could be one penny. Sure, [no one] can really live off a penny, but look at the number above. Let's say Exxon Mobil has 10,000 employees. Sounds plausible, right? I like working with easily divisible numbers. If the above profits were shared equally amongst the 10,000 employees, then everyone would be get $39,500. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way and who knows if there are 10,000 employees anyway? My point is. Who needs that much money where the rest of the country is pinching pennies elsewhere so they can just get to work.

Now I hear on the news that the price of milk and eggs are going up because of higher gas prices. Eggs and milk? I'm sure it doesn't end there. What other staples of general consumption will be affected. In the meantime, people may just resort to getting their eggs by buying their filthy feathered producers by the dozen instead of the eggs themselves. Eggs are a popular symbol of birth, especially with the Christian holiday of Easter coming up. This year, they may as well be a symbol of greed.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Why 'Fast Food Sign'?

Hello, and welcome to my blog. I started this at the suggestion of my wife, Liz after a series of frustrated rants (none of which were directed at her). The truth of the matter is that I had actually thought about starting a blog long before they were popular. Many of you are probably going, "Yeah, right. Everybody says they were thinking about doing something before it got popular," like joining MySpace, for instance.

Your first thought may be, "Why 'Fast Food Sign'? If not, the title of this posting asked it for you. My original idea for a blog, came about when I was still in college. Toward the end of my time at The Art Institute of Phoenix, many of my classes would end at 10 pm and it would be a half-hour drive home. Liz and I had been dating for a while and it was common of me to go over to her parents house to hang out with her after school.

On my way home, there was a Burger King at an intersection I often stopped at. The intersection was McKellips and Country Club Drive in Mesa. Like some fast food restaurants, this Burger King had a marquee, back-lit with fluorescent lighting and black block letters would be placed. Often, establishments such as this use this space to advertise specials like a 99¢ Whopper where "For a Limited Time" lasted six years. This sign was different. I'd only assume it was the manager, or the owner of this Burger King, that used this real estate for something else. Space was limited, but that didn't keep [whomever] from posting a little rumination, if you will, generally on the subject of politics or current events. I was inspired by this act and I too was looking for an outlet.

Originally, it would be a daily blurb, posted on a web site offering personal insights for any who would like to read it. There were aspirations to make it "the next big thing", but my real goal was to get my thoughts down and maybe draw a chuckle or an inquisitive "hmmm" from a reader. Daily life and personal laziness has prevented this vehicle from coming to fruition until some 5 oer 6 years later, and the same will probably prevent my daily ruminations from actually being just that, daily.

I've got few rants inside my head already, and I'll probably spew them out in some stream of consciousness nonsense when I have time. Unfortunately, we've got a new puppy and I hear some rustling downstairs. He's probably up to no good. Therefore, I must wrap this up for the evening with an old email signature I once had.

Stay tuned for another episode of… "The __(fill in the blank)__ Adventures of Glenn!" Good night.